Suggested Small Group Format for Men's Group

Men As Learners and Elders (M.A.L.Es)
a program offered by the Center for Action and Contemplation

Small Group Format

We have made 30 our symbolic M.A.L.Es number.

* It is the symbolic age when men often begin to ask mature questions of themselves, and leave the image of themselves as boys.

* It is the age when Jesus “made his statement” about life and death.

In keeping with this concept, we suggest that 30-30-30 might be a structure for starting a men’s group.

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BASIC FORMAT - the meeting would be an hour and a half – subdivided into (3) thirty minute segments.

Segment I (first 30 minutes) – BACKGROUND (welcome, silence, possible drumming, check-ins)

becoming present to the moment, sharing of “where I am right now” (emotionally, practically) – share for approx 3-5 minutes – other men say “thank you _____” when a man is finished so as to acknowledge his “check-in”. There is no cross-talk during check-ins.

Segment II (second thirty minutes) – MID-GROUND (sharing on a selected theme) - Possibilities:

A. Use a chapter from Richard Rohr’s books From Wild Men to Wise Men, Adam’s Return, or Quest for the Grail.

B. Use one of the Beloved Sons videos/DVDs or the video Quest for the Grail.

C. Suggested topic/theme starters

D. A man from the group prepares the topic/theme (could rotate each time to a different man)

* Richard Rohr materials can be purchased through Mustard Seed Resource Center, 505-247-1636 or www.cacradicalgrace.org.

Segment III (final thirty minutes) – FOREGROUND (sharing of what I need to do/change, act on/improve for myself or others) and then a Final Prayer

A. Men could journal on this for about fifteen minutes and then make a statement to the group about the “to do”.

B. Men could each have about 3-5 minutes to share on his “to do”

C. Men could take a walk and then come back for some sharing at the end

Final Prayer could be spontaneous (have men circle and each share a part of the prayer) OR they could use the “Father Prayer” composed by Father Richard Rohr, OFM.

v Group size would be around 5-8 men.

v Group meetings do best when they are set to a consistent day and time (bi-weekly, monthly, etc.).

v Official time is held to, so men know what they can expect and have committed to.

v Meetings occasionally get bumped for an outing in nature (a hike), or a gathering/fun thing (potluck, meal together, etc.) – You want to keep things balanced.

What you can expect from the Men’s Group

v A safe place to be your TRUE self

v A recognition that you have been heard by the group

v A place where you can share without expecting to receive judgment or feedback (unless you ask for it)

v Confidentiality

v Respect for your different perspectives and opinions

What the Men’s Group expects from you

v To share openly where you are at in your life’s journey

v A vulnerability (to be real, honest with no need to pretend)

v An openness to silence

v An openness with participating (speaking, drumming, facilitating the group on a given topic after a sufficient period of orientation to the group)

v A desire to be on a spiritual quest

v To be present to the established meeting time

v A respect for other men’s different perspectives and opinions

Show up and BE REAL!

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Last modified: April 13, 2008